tales from an ordinary world
2001-11-02
Weekends assemble themselves in front of me, no real planning (as such) necessary, like watching a wasp's nest suddenly appear over your front door. If I'm careful, it'll all work out, we can consider it a success, and that will be that. The yellow stripes aren't far off, but hopefully they'll leave me alone for now.
Current Listening :
1974-77, by Cabaret Voltaire.
Timeless - the Hank Williams tribute, by various artists.
excuses for travellers, by Mojave 3.
2001-11-04
Shopping impulses got the better of me - quite restrained in the morning, the afternoon took hold and I let myself go. It all seemed reasonable at the time. It was a sale, after all. But the "I just spent money" guilt always washes over, after these things, and I'm weathering the storm right now.
also, I started this yesterday.
2001-11-06
An overheard phone conversation on the tram :
"there's no shops open today, I can't get any sheet music...if I can't find any, I'll just have to do Yellow Submarine..."
Perhaps I could've helped somehow - suggested something at least. I didn't think it appropriate, though, to strike up a conversation with a guy on the tram because I was listening to his phone call.
but then, like most times, my efforts at being helpful are scotched by worry-induced paralysis, and the general feeling that I just don't do Enough(tm).
2001-11-09
I'll cast my vote tomorrow, and hope for a Better World. One where my vote can actually say something, like "compassion is more important than politics". One where it feels like everybody matters.
2001-11-11
She asked me how long I was staying. I said I didn't understand what she meant. Later, it twigged. Apparently in some other parallel universe, I've left the country and moved to Singapore. She asked me how long I was staying. I said I wasn't sure yet.
2001-11-14
dream : i'm in a field, but it's next to some art gallery place. it's full of nude people doing exercises - bending, forming various shapes and poses, etc. it's "art", apparently. a man bending over, almost like an arch, marks "a question" ("the question" ?), as indicated by some glossy flyer i saw back in the gallery. but i don't actually remember coming out here.
i'm in the field. nude people moving past me, etc.
i notice that i'm clothed.
and that i don't understand this "language".
all of this means that i probably don't belong here.
keeping my eyes to the ground, i make my way to the exit...
2001-11-14b
one era cross-fades toward the next one.
nostalgia nostalgia.
shuffle the pack, deal again.
"films like chewing gum", apparently.
2001-11-15
It's not that I miss your website. I just miss your voice. Slow, deliberate, full of nuances and observations. A hidden sense of wonder.
2001-11-16
and so here I was, on a slow tram to China...or it may as well have been. Maple leaves waving back and forth just outside, like you could put your hand on the window and feel them brush past. But it's mid-morning, and I'm stuck in that "day after" bubble again, catching myself staring and wondering and wishing. If we don't start moving any faster I might just give up and go lie in the sun, instead.
2001-11-18
...and after watching Paris, Texas all I could really do was wander outside. listen to the wind, watch the billowing clouds pass over my tiny back garden and then just stare at the ice cubes slowly melting in the drink I'd carefully poured.
"there is no safety zone..."
2001-11-20
The oddness of otherwise ordinary people. The cold wind on a sunny day. I'm feeling a little lost in the collective unconscious(tm), pondering next moves and the like. We all get stuck on our little themes for a while. I'm trying to create a new one.
2001-11-26
I didn't expect it to be this good. Rediscovering a lost restaurant (they'd moved) and catching up with an old friend or two at the same time. Maybe I'm just too cynical to expect much anymore, in which case I definitely don't deserve such a nice night.
