tales from an ordinary world

2000-09-12b

"no-one's there when you need them
friends and family they caved in
through drought and flood
bone and blood

duty-bound to deliver
spend some time on the river
now you need to try
suicide at home"
Grant McLennan

My fingers never lie over the keyboard when I'm not actually typing something. More often than not I rest my chin on my hands, leaning on my elbows as I stare into empty space somewhere beyond my monitor.

The slow day makes me want to listen to slow music. I'm feeling powerless - there's nothing I can do but sit in this chair tonight. I don't want to miss anything, but on the other hand, there isn't really anything much to miss.

Good news. Good fortune. The good life. It's all good. I'm so happy for people I could cry.

Nevertheless, I can't help but feel that my place, my situation, my path is meant to be a different one. If only I had a better grasp of just how it should be. I'm sick of feeling like I'm just pissing in the wind.

Now listening :

• Young Team, by Mogwai.

• Far Out Corporation's self-titled album.

• NYC Ghosts & Flowers, by Sonic Youth.