tales from an ordinary world

1999-10-03

A cocktail party last night, where nothing particularly much happened, although I did talk to one or two odd people, and it was pleasant. It certainly didn't feel like 2:30am when I got home...

In order to feel like I was doing something useful with the day, I walked all the way down to Ripponlea and had lunch at Café Surreal while I read another Burroughs novel. There really wasn't a lot going on in the world, it seemed. The whole of Glen Eira road seemed to be lacking something - there were a few cars going past, and one or two people walking around, but it all seemed pretty lifeless, in a way that reminded me of walking around Canberra, once. You got the impression that everybody was hiding away in their homes, but you couldn't quite work out why, as if there was some sort of curfew you hadn't been told about. You could feel some of them watching you out of their windows, too.

It's been a wasted weekend. I should be feeling a whole lot more relaxed, because I haven't done particularly much. I feel stuck in a cycle of merely killing time, by working, sleeping or wandering about, as if I'm anticipating some sort of blessed event happening some day that'll magically change my life and make me feel it's all been worthwhile. Yes, I know, it's extremely lame. I've no idea what sort of event I'm waiting for, I just have this impression that I'm subconsciously waiting for something to happen. Somehow, when this event occurs, I'll feel less tense, more releaxed, and all that sort of stuff. Christ. Anticipation is a dangerous thing...

Well, at least all this exercise is doing me good - I walked all the way to Elsternwick for dinner at Sue's and walked most of the way home too. I took 2 old Guided By Voices CDs with me, which helped put me in a good mood (I've no idea why, but there you go :)