tales from an ordinary world

2000-08-14b

I've been digging a bit, but it's hard to find memories that thrill me, that inspire me somehow. I'm expecting something unknown, waiting for something to happen. I've been like that on and off for a while, lately. What do other people do in these situations ? It's throwing me off from time to time too. I couldn't find appropriate music for the office this evening, for instance - a small loss, to be sure, but it's easy to let little things build up and overthrow one's fragile existence.

Digging. I don't think I've ever used the world loam, apart from when playing with magnetic letters on Skud's fridge one Sunday afternoon.

How exactly does one relax ? The whole process of letting go of things is somewhat foreign to me. It's hard to stop...I just can't get off this rollercoaster, this thing that I barely understand but which nevertheless propels me onward. I feel like I'm understanding things a lot less these days, spiralling into confusion.