tales from an ordinary world

2000-08-23

Some days go so slowly you can count the individual seconds. My headphones seem like a distant object, but the buzz of conversations in the office still occasionally poke through my wall of sound.

It's not a self-frustration thing, not this time. I'm just tired. It's hard to find a sense of wonder in the future for the time being. Watching people have the same old pointless arguments, watching the same old things happen again and again, and feeling like the best thing I can do is to simply opt out of direct participation. Sometimes I'm so non-confrontational it hurts.

Last night I kept hearing freight trains again - the line's a good few kilometres from where I live, but when I'm lying in bed feeling low, that lonely low-pitched horn always finds its way to my ears.

I wish I were a pedal steel guitar, mapping out the depths of human loss and longing.

Now listening :

• El Corazon, by Steve Earle.

• The Trinity Session, by The Cowboy Junkies.