tales from an ordinary world

2002-11-04

She wants to be somewhere else again, but events suggest otherwise. "Do you ever feel you could be doing more than you are now," she asked? "Certainly. But I never feel as if I can make myself do it," I replied. "I'm never really sure of what I should be doing." "Yeah, that too."

In the beer garden later on, I can hear somebody else grappling with similar issues. "In Melbourne, you've got friends to fall back on. If you hate your job you can just quit and get another one before long, 'cause you know people. In other places...you have to be more independent." I sit over the other end of the garden, nodding my head, staring at the floor and slowly nursing a beer before wandering inside when the band starts playing.

Life is full of opportunities. I'm cautious, perhaps a little too cautious, about the ones I follow. Actions have reactions. Advantages come with disadvantages. I try to weigh them up in something approximating a fair manner, but in the end something inside me usually says "I can't do this."