tales from an ordinary world

2002-11-14b

After two whiskys I'm feeling brave enough to catch up on some non-day-job sysadmin work. Friends reappear. I feel up to answering owed e-mail. It shoudn't be this way, but it is. After a third, I put on a familiar CD, and life is simply beautiful. I don't normally allow myself such indulgence these days - my life is one of controlled denial. As much as I should (and I want to) relax, I figure I should be finding other ways of doing so. All sorts of vices (even eating) are frowned upon. What's happening to me ? I tried drinking herbal tea at nights with St John's Wort in it (despite warnings from others about the weird dreams you get after taking it for a while) to help ward off the anxiety, but I've run out now. I don't feel so bad, just yet. I suppose I'm a little worried that I'll start to worry too much again, though. It never ends, but sometimes you can find pockets of "okayness".