tales from an ordinary world

2001-04-02

I had to get away so I hit the north, ending up in familiar old territory. A park bench where I'd once sat a handful of lunchtimes in a row, a few years and a few jobs ago, chatting up a friend on the phone, someone I never heard from again a few months later. While I ate my lunch, I cringed as hindsight kicked me for being so silly and intrusive. I should have left them all alone, I was just another annoyance, a fly in their otherwise quiet worlds.

I was trying then, I'm still trying now, to build some kind of internal map of human behaviour. Why do I use logic when I should just use gut feelings, and vice-versa ? What is it with people and cars ? Why didn't I learn to drive ? Why am I scared of self-improvement ? How did I get here ? I feel like my senses are slightly muted - A stereophile's hearing, a wine buff's taste buds, and eagle eyes - I have none of these things. But I make a go of it nonetheless.