tales from an ordinary world

2001-04-03b

Watch the dimming light of another opportunity that's not going to be. It's ok. Some other time. Just like the other one - "I can't imagine being there without you," she said, but it's too far, too much, and too late.

I should be a better friend. I'm so passive, accepting my fate but plodding forward anyway. I listen, I take it all in, but I don't give much, except when asked. Unless all of this somehow counts. I suppose it does, in a way, or at least that was one of my intentions - I wasn't keeping up with old friends, so I figured maybe if I tried doing the thing I feared most - putting thoughts into words - then they'd get some kind of insight into my state of mind, kind of like when you ask someone "how are you ?", and they really tell you. It's not always a pretty sight, but neither am I. I'm always trying, though, to achieve some kind of feeling of self-improvement. I want to be a better person. No harsh words, even in trying times. Not judging others. A willingness to give it all away, for no particular reason than to make people happy, or better, or something. Of course, looking at me now, it's hard to tell that I try and hold myself to any of these goals. I'm sorry.

But I digress. We'll be together...some other time. Not in electric dreams, but perhaps in my more "acoustic" ones.