tales from an ordinary world

2002-10-07

A crumbly chocolate digestive night, contemplating the karmic powerplay between the weekend (good) and today (not as good). Somewhere in the maelstrom of things, I worry that my thoughts will get me into some kind of trouble. I'm too concerned by consequences - if only I could just shrug it off like others seem to do - and I regret this reliance upon routine, the feeling that I can't/shouldn't upset the delicate balance I've achieved. It's always tempting to make some kind of large, sweeping gesture that knocks it all over - to force myself to start again - but it seems a little heavy-handed, these days. I'd like to think I can get where I need to be (wherever that is) by a series of minor adjustments.